It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
