so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
