Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
