I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
