the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
