there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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