He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
