i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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