Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
