They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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