Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
