You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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