We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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