thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
