69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
