dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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