new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
