I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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