its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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