She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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