Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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