fuck your aforementioned shoe
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
