Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
