Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
