Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Life is so much better after having sex.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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