you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
