yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
