Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
