the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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