Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
