You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
