Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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