You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
