Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
