dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
