Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
