You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
and she was petting her beer can
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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