Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
