I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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