I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
