I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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