I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
