Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
