Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
