We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
