I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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