One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
