At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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