There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
