its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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